This is my beautiful Xmas tree. Today I am finally dismantling it and packing it away.  But I can't believe how sad I am about it! 

Perhaps it's because it has been my constant companion. My students are upstairs most of the time; my girls were only home for 3 days of Xmas; the rest of the time, it was me and this beauty ..... and the occasional bottle of wine.

I love this particular Xmas tree, and all day while taking the decorations and deciding which ones to pack away and which ones will go into the yard sale box, I've been filled with sadness. You know, I would keep this tree up indefinitely if I could. But it is time to say goodbye. And I will enjoy the new, refreshed living room.

I've made up my mind to downsize again. I did that almost 10 years ago, from a full sized old house to this smaller duplex. However, I've filled it to the rafters again with my love of yard sales, thrifting and bargains. (Don't we become attached to stuff.) 

And now I find that when I think about my future, I'm not going to be able to afford to continue to live here; property taxes are so high. So, although I'm not absolutely sure what my next BIG move will be (a few ideas in the works), I have decided to make a BIG move of some kind. 

The next 6 months of my life will be full of organizing, purging and packing away in boxes in anticipation of becoming smaller. As I go through things, they'll get packed in boxes and stored in the back of the basement. I'm thinking that if I live without as much stuff around me, I will learn to embrace the simplicity. 

But although this is exciting as well as necessary, it's also kind-of sad. I find myself walking around the house, looking at items and saying "No. You can go." I find myself thinking "This is the last time I will ......... in this house." I have loved/do love this house. Sigh!

But I'll also love my next home.  Home is soooooooo much more than 4 walls and a roof, right! "Home is where the heart is". Home is family and a place that gives you a feeling of security and cosiness and calm. I can do that in a tent, for goodness sake! 

So, as I dream of cleanliness and organization and small, affordable, easy to care for homes, I wrap each little bauble from the tree carefully and with love. And I bid a fond farewell to my lovely, still-green, bushy, proud, once-fragrant, sacrificial fir, I shed a few tears.



"Goodbye my friend.  You will be missed".