NO SOUP (hike) FOR YOU!

One of the most frustrating things for me in this aging process is the way I discover my limitations. Sometimes, it's a simple matter of doing what you've always done but finding out that you aren't as good or as flexible as you used to be (i.e. yoga poses); or perhaps your stamina is lacking and it takes you longer because you need to rest more (i.e. gardening). And other times, it's as simple as looking at something you would have done before and knowing that you don't want to take a chance this season (i.e. jumping into the river from that bridge). Okay! as much as I don't like losing these things, I'll adjust my lifestyle and keep soldiering on.

However, most of the time, I find my limitations by unintentionally hurting myself. There's nothing gentle about it; no gradual decline in ability; no warning bells or alarms saying "Danger, Will Robinson!"; no little voice in my head saying to be extra cautious.

 

AND to add insult to injury, the memory banks are so full that I often forget things like the need to adjust the time I've allotted to something, that I can't do more than one "extra" per weekend, and that my recovery time will be longer and that's it's absolutely necessary. After 60+ years of living one way, it takes a lot of time, love and patience with oneself to relearn or to even let go. (So I keep reminding myself!)

I walk and hike because I love it; nature feeds my soul and gives me renewed purpose. But I also do it because it's good for me: it keeps me flexible, my sleep and digestion are better, I'm happier and it helps me lose weight. But when I'm actively trying to take care of myself and my body rebels by telling me after the fact via prolonged pain and distress that I made a wrong choice, it feels like betrayal. I have met the enemy ...... and it is ME!

Yep, I overdid it last weekend; and then put my back out just by picking up a tissue Tuesday. There was no hike. There was no walk. There was no picnic at the beach with friends. Boo hoo! The smallest violin played for me in my own mind as I rend my clothes and poured ashes on my head!

I spent this weekend fairly inactive. I did go yard saling with my BFF, and afterwards we had tea and sarnies on her back patio in the sunshine. But I spent the majority of my weekend resting with a heating pad at my back watching Netflix (Hello "Last Kingdom" and "Orange is the New Black" ) and looking longingly out my window at the green hills which were calling me.  But then later Saturday afternoon as I was lying outside in my lounge chair, I was struck by the beauty all around me. I was reminded of how privileged I am to live where I do and enjoy the luxury of a sunny day, a comfy lounger, and the joy that can be found in simply existing on such a day in such a place. 
  

I may be slowing down quicker than I like, I may have to wear more strings on my fingers as reminders, I may have to adjust my lifestyle, and yes, sometimes I may be house-bound just because of my own stupidity. 

But life is still beautiful! And I will continue to pursue it and grab whatever beauty I can in whatever way I can.