Tuesday, July 7, 2009


I love my children dearly. Even though they had a wonderful father, as a single mom, I've worked long and hard to give them the best I could. I have made my share of sacrifices for those 3 dear little girls. And in return, they have filled my life with such love and fun and joy (as well as the occasional heartache and sorrow not to mention the ruined handtowels from mascara stains!). As well, I've experienced things as a mom and found out things about myself that I probably never would have as a single person. My life is richer because I'm a mother! Parenting is not for everyone: but it surely was for me.

That being said, the life transition of bearing and raising children has brought me to age 54 where I'm almost an empty nester! One has flown the nest, #2 is practicing independence and the other has but 1 year left in school. This is what we as parents do -- prepare them to leave! Along this journey, we learn to let them go.

And there's something wonderful that I've discovered; with learning to let them go, I'm re-discovering / learning who I am ... and what I love ... and little ways to indulge myself. I'm learning (dare I say it) to be selfish once again!

(Or maybe we never really forget, do we??)

Hence, today's post:


1. Quiet .... quiet .... and yet more quiet.

2. Watching whatever I want on TV or cranking MY music whenever I feel like it.

3. Running around naked (without someone saying "Oh p-l-e-a-s-e Mom! I'm eating!!!")

4. Not having to share my Ben and Jerry's ice cream or hide my emergency supply of dark chocolate.

5. Cooking just enough for one person -- as opposed to cooking for the family, having them not eat it because "I'm not hungry, Mom!" (then 2 hrs later, they eat all the fresh fruit or yogurt in the fridge and not tell you!); and then you're stuck with eating what you've cooked for the next 4 days in a row!

6. When I clean the house, it stays clean.

7. Making a date to spend time with my kids kids and perhaps take them out for a meal; or having them take me out!

8. No line-up for the bathroom.

9. Being able to leave the bathroom door open!

10. Quiet, quiet .... and yet more quiet.

I guess in all fairness, I'll now have to do a "10 things I Love about Being with my Kids" post! Stay tuned ..........

But don't hold your breath. I plan on being so busy sitting around naked eating ice cream in my clean house while listening to The Eagles ..... that it might just slip my mind!!


I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Yes, there are wonderful things about living alone. I still miss the babes but I know I'm ready for some 'me' time. I spoil myself and then some. I love getting together with them and then I love it when I'm home too. I would like to see more of them and the grands but I appreciate the time I get. Like you I could count it both ways. With and without.
It has been several years now since my last one graduated and my baby will be 30 next year so I'm a bit further ahead in life than you.

Wanda said...

I understand your love of being alone...that feeling of tranquillity...of just doing "what" and "when" at your choosing...with no interruptions...but yet love when they visit!!!

DUTA said...

You're a lucky case. There are cases where a woman has to become selfish in order to just survive.
This could happen when unfortunately for the mother, the children have inherited more of their father's character and behave more like him . In this case the woman faces two "fronts" :that of the children and that of the husband or already ex-husband.

Anyway, you should add to your list
that now you've got some more time for blogging.

Connie said...

Humorous post. I had empty nest syndrome for a short time, but it is amazing how quickly one can "adjust" to your new quieter life. :-)

Teena in Toronto said...

I love having Teena-time!

RobinfromCA said...

LOL! Being an empty nester with a husband who travels a lot I can understand the love of quiet. I also enjoy controlling the remote on the TV. But, no matter what, I cannot leave the bathroom door open. I just can't - I feel naked! Which brings me to the other thing I can't do. If I'm wandering, I'm dressed in something! I wonder if I had a traumatic naked bathroom experience as a child...

Susan said...

I smiled through your whole post! I've always said that having teenagers is God's way of preparing you for empty-nest syndrome!

Dani said...

yum!! I LOVE dark chocolate with Chili or a touch of cayenne. (that's my favorite gelato flavor!)