Thursday, December 13, 2018

My Christmas Plan

Christmas can be difficult for a lot of folks especially if you're on your own. I'm surrounded by family here in NL. But they don't have the same views and/or needs about this season as I do; so my ideal 'Norman Rockwell' Xmas is not going to happen. It took me two years here, but I'm finally realizing that I'm the only one responsible for my own happiness -- even at Christmas. So this year, I made a plan in the hopes of having a happier, healthier Christmas.


  • I let go of my expectations:  expectations I'd placed on others and expectations I'd placed on myself. Without realizing I was doing it, I expected my family and friends to visit; I expected them to help with meal prep; I expected them to sit and chat and bond; I expected to receive from them as much as I'd given. But one of the biggest gifts that I've been learning to give myself for the last few years is to accept people as they are and give without expecting anything in return. Harder to do with family, I think, but so rewarding for all those involved.

  • The next thing I did was to make a list of what was most important to me about the Christmas season. 
    • Spending time with family: It's up to me to make the trip, the phone call or the Skype conversation. Even if it doesn't happen, I want to let them know that they're important to me.
    • Christmas decor: What do I really want? And how much can I really do - both decorating and the dismantling of the decorations? I had to really think about my energy levels and remember my limitations.
    • Delicious food: I made a list of what foods I love to eat at Xmas -- both the store bought and the homemade. That list got culled a lot to reflect my finances and my energy level for cooking/baking. AND I had to remember that the food that I don't give as gifts may be mine alone to eat! So I choose my foods with that in mind as well.
    • Health: In spite of my 22 lb weight loss since last April, I KNOW I'm going to be eating and drinking things I wouldn't usually eat and drink. So, I'm expecting to gain a couple of pounds. And eating like that will affect how I feel physically. So, to counteract that dilemma, I'm going to make sure I get outside and walk or snowshoe. My stodge-filled body will NOT want to go outdoors; but if I want to eat, I have to get out there.
    • Something under the Tree: The first Xmas after the breakup of my marriage, there was nothing under the tree for me as my kids were still very young. I realized I was sad about that. So I became my own Santa! (I'll share more on how to economically do this.)
    • Peace: If I can follow what's on my list, then I shall have a peaceful Xmas season. But I'm also planning to make time just for myself with no phone or TV and trying to create zen moments and time with my God. This is probably the most important thing for me.
I'll expound further on these over the next week.

These ideas will not solve all the problems and sadness that can occur at Christmas. Nor will they help everyone have a joyous time. But perhaps they can spark some hope and enthusiasm in someone out there. 





5 comments:

Sandi said...


I think this is wise. It's true, we can set ourselves up for disappointment if we have these expectations.

"...time just for myself with no phone or TV and trying to create zen moments and time with my God."

In the days of just 3 TV channels (which went off the air at night!) and news only once a day, would we ever have dreamed that we'd need a break like this? Funny how the world is now.

Hope you have a delightful holiday and make it memorable!

Marissa said...

Super neat advice! I know That I do so much I certainly need to take some of this to heart.

Kay G. said...

Very thoughtful. I hope all goes well for you! Take some time to just BE!

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

I think your plan is a very good one. The only person who will create long term happiness in our lives is ourself.

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Yes, definitely a good plan in all respects. You are responsible for your own happiness. We all are and if we choose to be happy it's up to us. I so agree! It is all about choices. I choose to be happy, to be at peace and to enjoy life to the fullest. Sounds like it's going to be a Merry Christmas for you this year !

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