DEAR SANTA,

Dear Santa,

I'm getting pretty excited about Christmas! This year, I've been as good as I possibly could be ...... which isn't to say that I haven't been bad, but I'm just saying that I really, really tried, Santa! (Do you give points for trying?)
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I know there's only a few weeks left now and that you're a pretty busy guy, but I'd like to take a just a few minutes of your valuable time to point out some of the things you should consider when deciding on my gift:

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• My children are still speaking to me ..... at least, most of the time! Yeah, I'd say a good 83% of the time (and that's like way over the passing grade, right Santa?) One of my relatives doesn't speak to me, but that's because he's a huge poop-head! (Am I allowed to say that, Santa?)
  



• My bosses still think I'm doing a good job at work. (I guess this will be re-evaluated at tax season! But that's in February). And I'm sorry for skiving off and checking my blog sometimes while I'm working, but a girl needs a break from debits and credits all day long!.
  
  
  



• My hair is looking nice.

• I have a couple of good friends (yeah, less than last year, Santa, but it's a time and quality factor). But I know that these ones would provide references if you need want. And I believe they're all on your "Nice List"? (If they aren't, it wasn't me! I have very little influence on my friends! They're grown adults, Santa!)




• I volunteer, give to the poor, recycle & compost (and hardly ever knowingly put the wrong stuff in the compost bin!), and I never laugh at those less fortunate than me! (And only occasionally at those who are more fortunate. And anyway, does that seem fair to you, Santa?)






• But most importantly, I love God with my whole heart and mind and soul! And even when He's being unreasonable, I still do as He says. (He always wants His own way, have you noticed that Santa?)
  

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So, if you don't have my gifts wrapped by now, Santa, I'd like to make a couple of special requests.
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1. Could I possibly have two new kneecaps? Mine are giving out and I can't do aerobics anymore! (Not that I miss doing aerobics but kneecaps are useful for so many other things.)



2. It'd be really nice if between Dec 25th and Jan 1st, I could eat all the turkey, stuffing, chocolate, cake, cookies and wine that I want without gaining back the weight I recently lost. I've noticed that you've been the same weight ever since I've known you and you eat a lot of cookies. So, perhaps you have some special secret you'd share with me? Like some patented "Ho Ho Ho Hoodia"; or that new "Lipofuse" which some people say works (even though it sounds like something you'd use in the engine of your sleigh).
   
   
   
   
3. What about a winning lottery ticket in my sock? That's cheap; and it wouldn't hardly take up any extra room in your sack. I know, I know -- A lot of people are probably asking for that gift; but I don't have to win several million -- I'd be content with a couple of hundred thousand!



4. And please Santa! Can you bring Amy home for Christmas. I asked you last night when I sat on your knee and got a present; but you didn't give me a definitative answer. Perhaps if you go into Toronto first, you could pick her up and drop her here in Bridgewater.
   
   

Well, that's my Christmas list for 2009 Santa. If you could see what you could do about those things, I'd really appreciate it. (I'll put up 2 stockings just in case!)

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I'll leave out my usual truffles and a glass of wine for you this year. And I hope you and Mrs Claus enjoy the holidays as well!

Love, Sandy