The Crappy Side of Gardening

Aren't these little critters bright and cheerful looking? Such a vibrant color, especially when seen against the lovely green of your lilies. They kind of look like a relative of the cute little Ladybug.
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But do not be deceived! These are monsters!!! When you think of these small, seemingly innocuous little insects, think "THE DEVIL"!!! (Note that they're red and have horns! ) I discovered them on my lilies last week and noticed that the leaves were rather moth-eaten. So, I turned to Google and found out how to deal with them.
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It's the Red Lily Beetle. They live in the soil and overwinter there (plotting evil plans & laughing behind their barbarous little pincers!). In spring they lay eggs under the leaves; the eggs hatch into larvae which, of course, eat the leaves and can apparently destroy the whole plant & even your whole garden! But that's not the worse part of these little interlopers.
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The larvae - which are fat, disgusting little orange blobs - are often not noticed because as they eat (and grow fatter) underneath the leaves, they disguise their bodies with their own excretment! Yes! They happily munch your plants, safe from birds and other preditors, wrapped in their very own black "Cloak of Crap"!
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But these little poopy pests didn't bargain on one steely preditor --- their newest and most terrifying threat --- Doris the Great!
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Armed with her Google knowledge, a large pan of hot soapy water, an old but clean rag, a determination which overcame her revulsion and previous experience in washing poop off beloved objects (namely, 3 little baby bums); Doris boldly and bravely strode forth into battle in order to save her beloved lilies.
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And Doris continues the fight! She has taken up the gauntlet of daily checks for yucky black blobs (no more so far!!) and gently shaking her lilies (sounds naughty, doesn't it) over her hand in order to catch those pretty red bugs (2 squished underfoot yesterday!)
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There are lots of healthy looking buds on my plants even if the leaves look hard-done-by! And they will bloom! I am determined to be victorious!
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This scourge shall be overcome with tenacity and hardwork

AND

perhaps the purchase of some silicone gloves!!!

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Ew!! GROSS!! Is beetle poop good for your hands??