Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Twas the Month After Christmas .....

The following poem was sent to me by my Irish friend Antonia whose sister Eleanor (after reading my blog) thought it might be appropriate.
Are you trying to tell me something, Eleanor?
Twas the month after Christmas...
Twas the month after Christmas,

and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me,
not even a blouse.
The biscuits I'd nibbled,
the chocolate I'd taste
All the christmas parties
had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales
there arose such a number!
When I walked to the shops
(less a walk than a lumber),
I'd remember the marvellous
meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces
and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls,
the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said,
"No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in
a man's extra-large shirt
And prepared once again
to do battle with dirt...
I said to myself,
as I only can,
"You can't spend a winter,
disguised as a man!"
So, away with the last
of the sour cream dip.
Get rid of the fruit cake,
every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food
that I like must be banished
Till all the additional
ounces have vanished.
I won't have a biscuit,
not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew
on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot chocolate,
or fresh rolls or pie.
I'll munch on a carrot
and quietly cry.
"I'm hungry, I'm lonesome,
and life is a bore... "
But isn't that what
January is for?
I'm unable to giggle,
life's no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all,
and to all a good diet.


Vonlipi said...

That was hilarious! It's ME!

We might as well have a sense of humour about this.

Wanda said...

Oh! Such truth in that poem!
I started eating salads this week, myself...seems to be working, hope all is gone by spring, if not...I'll just do more walking! Won't give up chocolate though!

Nezzy said...

Heeeheeehe! I'm cryin' here. Thanks I needed that. Please don't hate me but we have had so many cattle round~ups and cold weather to do chores in I chugged off enough calories I've burned off everything I indulged in, even that whole package of wonderful chocolate covered fruit form you. Nope, didn't share it with Hubby, children or my eight grandchildren! I'm selfish that way when it comes to my chocolate!

Ya'll have a super day, your welcome anytime to come to the Ponderosa and chase a wild~eyed cow or two! LOL!

Eva Gallant said...

Good one!

The Garden of Egan said...

Oh, that is so funny! I love the cute pictures.
Ya, I can relate!

Fran Hill @ Being Miss said...

That's the last time I let you take photos from my album.

Cherie said...

Amen Sistah!! That is why the diet starts soon....(giggle)!

Its So Very Cheri said...

What a cute poem.

Thanks for following me. I followed you too and yeah I am number 101 so now you are over 100 and you will always remember me.


A human kind of human said...

Oh my! Tell me about it! And Hubby's birthday is coming up, so no use to start a diet (lol).

ethelmaepotter! said...

How clever! Really, this is FUNNY! Because it's so TRUE!
I gained 19 pounds over the holidays, and it's hanging in there, refusing to give up. Why, oh why, did I sell all my fat clothes in that yard sale?!