Wednesday, October 11, 2017

All this Change (Jangling 'round in my Pocket)

This was a non-hiking weekend:  #1 because my knees were still a little sore and #2 because it was my birthday weekend. I ALWAYS have a whole weekend rather than the traditional 1 day birthday. I'm an adult -- I can do what I want!

Friday, I went thrifting in a little town 45 min away and scored some great deals. Saturday, 2 girlfriends and I went to an awesome yard sale and had coffee and treats afterwards. Then we dog walked for almost an hour and a half. Sunday, I had an amazing prime rib dinner with my Dad and brother. Because we'd done a turkey dinner just 3 weeks ago for my Dad's birthday, he and I decided against having a family Thanksgiving dinner. I'd have had to do all the work anyway, so I reasoned that I wouldn't miss it at all. 

But come Monday when I was home alone watching the rain and seeing FB posts of golden turkeys (the people and the fowl!), I was sad. I longed to be sitting with a large, happy, grateful group, overeating traditional Thanksgiving fare, comparing stuffing notes and setting up for a game of Skip-Bo afterwards. But I remind myself that this was MY traditional Thanksgiving get-together; it is NOT my NL family's traditional Thanksgiving get-together. (There's much more cussing and snarling at my NL family's traditional Thanksgiving get-together!)

It's mostly on holidays that I find myself torn: torn between being happy that I'm home in NL with my family and yet desperately missing the wonderful traditions I had built-up with my extended family in Nova Scotia. I miss knowing what to expect. I miss the familiar. I miss the closeness.

The jury is still out on whether moving home was a good choice. The transition is very difficult -- for me as well as for my family,  I would imagine! During my 41 years in NS finding my own way, my family were here in NL chipping away a comfortable spot to function in it's disfunction; then I come home with my Norman Rockwell ideals and all these wonderful ways of how we can love each other more and get along better! How dare I disturb the status quo!

(Many of my prayers are for acceptance and perserverance and the wisdom to know when each is needed.)

Yes, the jury may still be out, but I made a choice to move home a year ago. And although I will allow myself the sadness that comes with the occasional nostalgic memory, and I will not waste my time focusing on what I miss about NS. 

I will focus on all the great things that are to be had here with family and old friends. I will focus on how fortunate I am to have this opportunity to connect once again and the beauty that can come from change. 

PS - I got to eat Thanksgiving leftovers yesterday with my dear friends Ed and Judy. It was delicious!


DUTA said...

Happy Birthday to You!
You've done a good thing to go back home, to be closer to your family. There's no real substitute to family (parents, children, siblings).

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

I know for a fact that change is difficult. Only thing we can do is keep moving forward and it sounds like you are doing just that. Happy belated Birthday and Thanksgiving!


happy birthday to you and many more.

Kim Standard said...

Oh I get the moving being hard. I always want to go home but I have my kids here in Atlanta. It did take me a year to get used to move across town. Yes we miss the good times...Happy Birthday

carolg said...

I am reading with much interest your transition home, as I am considering that myself. I have been away "only" 12 years, but it feels like forever and things change a great deal in that period! Thanks so much for sharing your journey!