Hello December!

Look at this sunrise! It's so difficult to dress for work when you just want to drink coffee and look at the sky. We are experiencing very mild weather; while there's a sprinkling of snow on the mountains, the ground remains bare (hurrah!) and the forecast today calls for 14 deg C (58 deg F). Wow! I am totally up for wearing street shoes as opposed to heavy boots! 

Because of our strict adherence to self-isolation and mask wearing, the Atlantic provinces have had few Covid cases; 35 province wide and 8 locally, all self-isolating. We remain cautious and (mostly) courteous with each other. We can shop and eat in restaurants (6 ft apart), and gather in groups of 20. 

One of our biggest local Xmas fundraisers 12Months12Miracles/ had to be altered this year, and someone came up with the brilliant idea of having a burger month competition. Fourteen restaurants got onboard for Best in the West Burger. There were regular cheeseburgers, greek burgers, spicy, mushroomy, eggy, messy and even a moose burger. And instead of the usual $2,500 raised to help bring Xmas to needy people, over $10,000 was raised! Being an upstanding member of society, I did my best and tried 7 burgers (1 burger 3X). I tempered all that delicious red meat and cheese with lots of salads and walks.

As well, my middle daughter moved here from NS on the 11th with her sister. I have now become a cat mom as her sister has 2 dogs and that just wouldn't go well. Willow is a lovely tempered cat, short-haired so there's very little hair, and other than the 2 feathered birds (which were quickly moved to the top), she's not too bothered with the Xmas tree. Poor little thing was abandoned when Molly found her and has huge issues with food insecurity. Sometimes I actually get 2 hours between demands; scheesch! So, I now have to plan my visits to the kitchen in the evenings in order to minimize the 'dancing round the cat' routine. Hahaha!

Contrary to what I thought about living the slow, calm life of a senior, life is a constant state of flux. But ya know, that's not all bad. Christmas should be just a little more jolly this year with one more daughter at the table.

I hope you are all safe and well.

I'm Back

I've finally healed enough to type (and it's extra physio). It's been a very difficult 10 weeks. There are so many things that are affected by a break that no one is aware of until they're in the midst of it.

Here's my neat little Frankinstein scar covering my metal plate.
Soon I'm going to see if I can single-handedly wrist-hold a magnet!

I broke my wrist on Jan 22nd; had surgery on Feb 6th and got my cast off 2 weeks ago on Mar 21st. In between the break and the cast coming off there was, understandably, considerable pain. The doctor gave me an opiate for pain, but I didn't see much difference and I was quite wary of increasing the pills as they're so addictive. So instead, I smoked an Indica strain of cannabis; it helped me relax and took away 60-70% of the pain which meant that I could rest.

And rest I did! Wow! Your body goes into healing mode and all a person does for the first 3-4 weeks is rest. Getting all the pillows into an appropriate pattern to allow me to rest and support both my arm and back needed strategic planning and design! And thank goodness once again for Netflix and Crave TV which helped to entertain me.

I only missed a total of about 3 full weeks of work. Then I went part days:  my co-worker picked me up in the morning and my landlord brought me home at about 3 pm, exhausted and in such pain! But I was glad to get out of the house and didn't cuss too much at having to type one handed. I've been back full time for 2 weeks. Friends and family have helped to feed me; and I bought a lot of frozen meals so my diet suffered along with my hand. But I was happy to not have to prepare many meals myself.

I broke my foot 10 years or so ago and wasn't able to walk, of course. But did you know that when you break an arm or wrist, not only can you not use that particular limb, but you can't do a number of fairly important things. 

• I couldn't style/dry my hair, put backs on earrings or do up clasps on necklaces, or wear any pants that had zips or buttons.
• I couldn't butter bread. (All my aprons have permanent grease stains on the belly portion from attempting to butter 'n' jam my toast.)
• I couldn't chop veggies or slice bread. When I wanted to quarter an orange, for instance, I used my elbow to stabilize the orange and a bread knife to saw through. Exhausting!
• I couldn't wear a mitten or glove and had to wear my oversize ski jacket both for fit and so that I could cover my cold little cast fingers.
• I couldn't do up my bra; so it had to be fastened first, put on over my head (inserting my casted arm first) and then carefully, painfully pulled down into place. This took upwards of 5 min work and I always needed to rest afterwards.
• My back was bruised and hurt for a whole month after the fall. And I had to keep my arm elevated as much as possible. So, there were no soothing, rejuvenating epsom salts baths. And drying oneself after a shower was a long, hard process.
  
• AND it doesn't stop when the cast comes off as you now have to re-teach your arm/hand joints and muscles how to work. Nothing would move and the muscle pain is pretty awful. I'm doing my own 2x a day physio; and after 2 weeks I can touch my thumb to all my fingers and can curl them half way. Still not too much flexion in my wrist, but there is improvement every day. This week, I can use all my fingers to type (but I make a lot of mistakes with my left hand.)

Needless to say, breaking a wrist/arm is a tough go, but I'm on the mend. Thank you for entertaining me with your blog posts; and hope to begin blogging again soon on a more regular basis.

Here's hoping spring will come to my province soon to brighten my days and allow me to walk again. 

Ciao bellas!

Christmas Decor by Myself

One of my favorite Christmas traditions has always been the tree: the scent; the sparkle; the memories that each ornament brings to mind; and that little bit of nature right in my living room! But although Newfoundland is a province with more wilderness and forest than towns and villages, real trees have become hard to find and expensive to buy. So, I did like everyone else does here and I purchased a pre-lit artificial tree. 

Decorating my first Xmas tree here was bittersweet with the thought that I may never again have Xmas with my wonderful NS friends. But last year's tree was just sad: I was very ill and no one came to visit.  And I remember how deflated I felt when I had to dismantle the tree after the new year. 

So this year, I opted for something totally different. I opted against putting up a tree and thought I'd add just a soupçon of a tree.

I added some real branches of fir in a vase with some sparkle and fairy lights and I've hung it with photos of the people I'd like to be spending Xmas with. (You can't see all of them.) Topmost, of course, are my other 2 daughters and some of my most wonderful international daughters. 

The scent is amazing. And over the holidays, I shall be able to gaze upon those lovely faces and raise a glass to each of them.

The rest of the apartment is festooned with swags and nativity scenes and kissing Santas and lots of fairy lights! 

It looks and feels very festive! 

As do I most days! 

Searching for a Merry Christmas

This meme came across my Facebook feed this weekend, and I thought "Yeah! This is exactly what I came to realize this Fall!"

I moved home 2 years ago and have experienced 2 miserable, sad Xmas seasons for me. I told myself that last year would be my last here in NL; but not having the finances to go elsewhere caused me to rethink things this Fall. And that's when the shoe dropped.

I now realize that my enjoyment of Xmas is up to me. Of course Xmas  here in NL is not going to be like NS -- different location with different people, different traditions, etc etc. My failure to recreate Xmas MY way does not mean that I can't enjoy Xmas in NL. It just means being open to what the season has for me here in my new life AND my creating new traditions for myself. 

So, I've been busy letting go of what was while I search for what's important to me and what I can create here. My stress level is way down, my spirits have been lifted and I'm actually really looking forward to Christmas again.

I know that for a lot of people, Christmas is extremely hard and no amount of trying to create a happy Xmas will make it happen. My heart goes out to those folks.

But for those of us who are alone and seeking for ways to participate in this season and find even a modicum of joy, I hope my ideas help. I'll share them over the next couple of weeks. And please feel free to share your thoughts on the same.

Autumnal and Canna- Bliss!

Well, unless you're living on another planet, you know that as of this past Wednesday, October 17th, cannabis is legal in Canada. I personally think that this is welcome news. I know it's wonderful for pain management, and I have many friends who have been using it for a number of years for everything from arthritis and fibromyalgia to skin cancer with fantastic results. I have no problem with people using it recreationally as well, but I'm super, super excited to see what medical research will uncover in the coming years. 

I've been quite busy with my 88 yr old father for the past month. He's in really good health, but like all of us going through the aging process, he has great ideas but little stamina to follow through all the way. So, we've made pickled beets together, racked his wine, flipped his mattress and re-arranged the bedroom, and hung out and laughed. He's such a character with a wild past and lots of great stories to tell.

I had another 2 week long bout of 'hiraeth' for Nova Scotia; I viserally ache for my other home, for the familiarity of daily life there, and for the people and the things we'd do together. July past marked 2 years back here, and I'm pretty sure that I'll stay put here in Newfoundland: I'm getting better at seeing and acknowledging the blessings of being home as well as acceptance for 'la différence'. But the nostalgia and longing still hit me ..... and so I mourn.

The leaves are almost all yellow now; the temperatures are colder, and I saw a sprinkling of snow on cars this morning that drove into town from the mountain. Brrr! The flannels are on the bed, throws on the couch and I'm wearing socks and enclosed shoes. (Drat!!)

But ahhhhh! There's such freshness and crispness in the air that I don't mind the change at all. Ciao bellas! Happy Weekend!

Rabbit Rabbit! OMG! It's December!

Rabbit rabbit everyone! I hope you have good luck all month.

Last weekend, my house was a hussle 'n' bussle of Xmas decorating. I was having friends over Monday evening for potluck and cards, so what better excuse to decorate early. 

It was a lot of work! I'm in a new place, so I had to rearrange furniture (and re-rearrange!!) in order to find the best possible location for the tree. Then it was "Where will this particular item go?" And "What would look nice in this particular location?" Phew! I was extra pooped by the time I was finished. But it does look soooo pretty! Much prettier than last year's apartment. I love the way the tree lights reflect off the walls and create a kaleidoscope effect!

Last Xmas, everything was upside down; my Mom was very ill in hospital and the family was consumed with that worry.  I'm grateful that this Xmas will be different from last. I'm grateful for my daughter hosting  Xmas dinner so those of us without partners will be with family. And I'm super grateful that she wants my help with dinner; we all need to be needed, right! 


Xmas has always been my favorite holiday. In NS, the children and I created Xmas traditions we all loved. And then each international daughter added to our special brand of Xmas. Being all alone now and inserting myself into other people's Xmas means, of course, that everything is different. I especially miss our Xmas Eve and Xmas Day meals together; no matter how old the girls became, we all loved to be together to feast! Now I'll be creating new memories and, I hope, new traditions. 

Another one of the hardest things about decorating was tree. I now have a small, artificial tree, so only the most special ornaments are chosen. Some were given to me by my lovely Ex before the children were born. A few came from my girls; and many were given to me by my international children. And I have a wonderful collection of ornaments that I purchased on the very few, very special vacations the girls and I were able to take. But each ornament that went on the tree holds a special memory: I decorated alone and there were many smiles and some tears shed. It was a happy/sad event! 

Yes, as I've said before, change is hard!


But I shall forge ahead with hope in my heart ... which brings a (tentative) smile to my lips .... and sometimes adds a spring in my step. 


Happy December to you all! 

Yeah! This makes me feel better!

Ah, the joys of aging! 

Have I mentioned the issue I have with scent? For the past 3-4 years, I've slowly developed a severe sensitivity (allergy?) to scent: perfume, after-shave, hand creams, etc; detergent, cigarette smoke, gas and diesel. I can actually feel those things in my nose and throat and at times, all the way down to my lungs. I get an immediate headache and stomach ache; and if I'm exposed too long or the scent is very strong, my sight will be affected and I will develop a migraine that could last for days. It's a serious issue.

I've also been developing noticable respiratory problems over the past 2 years - wheezing in my chest, persistent cough and clearing of my throat (which is never fully cleared), and recently, some added difficulty in breathing. But after 6 or 7 years, I finally have a family doctor. I'm on the list to see a specialist; but in the meantime, he's prescribed asthma meds; one for emergencies (like when I climb mountains) and a daily puffer, Symbicort.

By Day 2, I had to cut the Symbicort dose in half to 1 puff 2x a day. The side effects are more tolerable then. AND it's working already! I can breathe easier, no chest congestion, even my singing voice has improved. (Now I only have what I call the old lady tremolo, so I only sing in the car with the windows up!)

Side effects, you say? 

Well, there's the headache, nausea, leg cramps, heart palpatations, constipation, flu-like aches, terrible back ache (additional to what I already experience from my injury), constipation, killer heartburn and bloating. AND I hear I'm in for some additional weight gain! Ain't that grand!

(If anyone has any advice to pass on, please do so.)

So, while for my body to adjust to the meds and come into greater balance, I search for more natural ways to deal with the above and ways to make myself feel better. This week's weather has been a bonus: we've had sunshine and high temperatures (for the region and season). I've been taking extra care with my diet; practicing mindfulness, prayer and meditation; and trying to get enough sleep. (My sleep patterns are also affected!) And I'm being more careful about my dress; we all know how wearing something we love can alter our mood. 

Yesterday, I put on my comfy thrifted leopard print shoes, my double strand of sparkly purple glass beads, and a newly acquired, thrifted floaty top in a rusty-red color. 

The color helped to brighten my day and put a smile on my face. You can't even tell that my head hurts, my arms ache and my bloaty belly hurts.

After all, it was 18 deg C (64 deg F) and sunny. 
What's not to be happy about?

• So, how do you deal with those downer days?

(Now excuse me: I have to go drink my daily glass of prune juice.)
Ahhhhh! The joys of aging!

All this Change (Jangling 'round in my Pocket)

This was a non-hiking weekend:  #1 because my knees were still a little sore and #2 because it was my birthday weekend. I ALWAYS have a whole weekend rather than the traditional 1 day birthday. I'm an adult -- I can do what I want!

Friday, I went thrifting in a little town 45 min away and scored some great deals. Saturday, 2 girlfriends and I went to an awesome yard sale and had coffee and treats afterwards. Then we dog walked for almost an hour and a half. Sunday, I had an amazing prime rib dinner with my Dad and brother. Because we'd done a turkey dinner just 3 weeks ago for my Dad's birthday, he and I decided against having a family Thanksgiving dinner. I'd have had to do all the work anyway, so I reasoned that I wouldn't miss it at all. 

But come Monday when I was home alone watching the rain and seeing FB posts of golden turkeys (the people and the fowl!), I was sad. I longed to be sitting with a large, happy, grateful group, overeating traditional Thanksgiving fare, comparing stuffing notes and setting up for a game of Skip-Bo afterwards. But I remind myself that this was MY traditional Thanksgiving get-together; it is NOT my NL family's traditional Thanksgiving get-together. (There's much more cussing and snarling at my NL family's traditional Thanksgiving get-together!)

It's mostly on holidays that I find myself torn: torn between being happy that I'm home in NL with my family and yet desperately missing the wonderful traditions I had built-up with my extended family in Nova Scotia. I miss knowing what to expect. I miss the familiar. I miss the closeness.

The jury is still out on whether moving home was a good choice. The transition is very difficult -- for me as well as for my family,  I would imagine! During my 41 years in NS finding my own way, my family were here in NL chipping away a comfortable spot to function in it's disfunction; then I come home with my Norman Rockwell ideals and all these wonderful ways of how we can love each other more and get along better! How dare I disturb the status quo!

(Many of my prayers are for acceptance and perserverance and the wisdom to know when each is needed.)

Yes, the jury may still be out, but I made a choice to move home a year ago. And although I will allow myself the sadness that comes with the occasional nostalgic memory, and I will not waste my time focusing on what I miss about NS. 

I will focus on all the great things that are to be had here with family and old friends. I will focus on how fortunate I am to have this opportunity to connect once again and the beauty that can come from change. 

PS - I got to eat Thanksgiving leftovers yesterday with my dear friends Ed and Judy. It was delicious!

Spring is slower and colder in western Newfoundland (NL) than it is in Nova Scotia (NS). Not by a lot; but when you've gone through a long, cold NL winter, you want spring and you want it NOW! I can walk in sneakers again which is awesome. But I still need a winter coat, hat, scarf and mittens. Baby steps, Sandy. Baby steps.

I've been approved for a community garden plot in the city -- 4' x 14' which is a great size! Last weekend, I started indoor seedlings, hopefully not too late because this is NL.  I planted tomatoes, cukes, green and yellow beans and swiss chard. I'll leave the lettuce and spinach seeds for direct planting. Yesterday I saw my first shoots from the tomatoes and swiss chard. My mouth is watering already and harvest won't be until September. Fresh produce is so expensive here because it has to cross the gulf and be trucked such long distances. It also spoils so quickly once you do buy it. So, I am ever optimistic that I'll be able to subsidize my food budget with homegrown. 

And I've been quite lucky lately with my local Salvation Army purchases. I was able to bring home a new pair of shoes, dress capris and a pretty spring blouse. The brand new strawberry socks are a gift for my middle daughter. I also picked up a few gifts for others: a pizza stone for my BFF (Her hubby makes the best pizza and tops it with honey! OMG!); a pirate puzzle for my grandson, and an aqua candlestick for my baby daughter. And all this was under $20. 

Moving home has brought me so much quiet and alone time; I'm loving it. But I'm also running out of chores to keep me busy while Mother Nature sorts herself out here on The Rock. My spare bedroom has become my "Family Room" as it's the place I've hung all my pictures of the people who are dearest to me. I've not only left behind my NS home and friends, but I've left behind a lifestyle -- one that included loving, caring for and having fun with my international children. So this room provides me with a little NS comfort. (Okay. I admit it. Sometimes I sit and cry in there because my heart aches so. But change is always hard.)

The sun is shining outside my window here at work. It's cold, but each day, the snowbanks are smaller and the run off muddier. Bring on the mud! I'm ready for it!

The long and winding road, that leads back to you.

A thank you to the blogging world that has kept on ticking away and posting and has fed me regularly while I've dealt with life. Thank you for taking me into your homes and showing me your latest projects. Thank you for giving me ideas for dinner, lunch, snacks. Thank you for telling me about your latest thrift bargains (and I must admit some jealousy here). And thank you for keeping me laughing.

The funeral is over with. I'm moved into my new apartment. And my life is returning to some form of normality. I'm loving my new digs -- so quiet and private compared to my last. Now, if only spring would arrive in Newfoundland.

It's always later here; we are quite far north. And I knew that the snow would stay for a while. But these cold temperatures! Man! The past week and a half has been on average -7 deg celsius (19 deg Faren). It's darned cold out there.

But I am in a spring frame of mind. While unpacking recently, I was able to longingly caress my red Converse sneakers. And I found a great hoodie for those soon-to-come early morning walks. I attended an information session last Saturday on our community garden; and despite my being on a wait list, I've been planning my 4' x 16' plot and thinking of how wonderful it will be when I have fresh spinach and chard. Ahhhhh!

I am waiting for you. 

Come soon.