I'll have a side order of stewed prunes please!

I went to my bathroom medicine cabinet the other night to get a bandaid, and as I was standing there looking for them, I became aware of something on the top shelf.  

The perfect solution when those boys "break bad"

!

• Preparation H.  

But gosh!  I was almost out of it!  So, I made a mental reminder to put it on my grocery list;  after all -- I wouldn't want to find myself in NEED and not have any.  

And then I thought:  What?  When did that become a staple in my household?

As I walked back to the bedroom and began to massage my night-time anti-wrinkle/anti-aging cream on my face and neck, I said to my jar:  "You aren't working, ya know.  You're letting me down".

Then sitting on the bed rubbing olive oil on my legs and feet to combat the cold weather dryness and itching that begins at this time of year, I internally grumbled at the "stuff" on my night table.

• Reactin --  In case I come across someone who's wearing perfume or aftershave; if I can get it early enough, I won't develop a headache. 

• Sinutab -- If the above doesn't work or the weather is damp.
• Tylenol for migraines -- If I really get a doozie of a headache.
•  Tums and Gavaston -- For the varying degrees of heartburn to acid reflux that I sometimes experience if I eat too much wheat or sugar.

 And there under the night table is the heating pad that I use for my back and shoulder pain.  

And if that doesn't work, I can go to the bin in my closet and find the Robaxasit.

Then I became afraid ................. very afraid.

"Holy Guac!"  I thought!  "How old am I?" 

"When did this all that STUFF happen?" 

This is what aging does to you.  The ailments happen little by little; and before you know it, the pharmacy aisle in your local grocery store doesn't get bypassed like it used to.  

And then .... one day ... before you know it ... you're discussing your ingrown toenails over coffee with your friends and younger people are becoming afraid to say "How are you?" after they say hello.  EEEK!

But no, I haven't gotten that bad yet.  Although we may discuss favorite brands of pain medication, we also discuss this season's hot clothing styles and our current favorite color lipstick.  I'm not ready for the glue factory yet.

Why, I'll have you know that most people think I'm 5 years younger than what my actual age is.  I've still got most of my teeth, I can manage a boogie for up to 5 minutes without putting my hip out 

AND

 
I can still fit into the earrings I used to wear in high school!

I ain't dead yet, by's; and I ain't goin' down without a fight.